Who do you think I am? (M'kal, emotional, OPEN)

[Raelyn]

M'kal paced around his room. Every once in a while, the young man would reach towards something on his desk and throw it at the wall. He had no other way of expressing his pain, sadness, or loss. He would not go so far as Iind'i 's methods. He loved life too much to do something like that.
But he was hurting- badly. Raiin was really the only girl- woman, actually- that M'kal had been interested in. Maybe it was because he loved her that he hadn't looked at anyone else.

More thna a single glance, at least. They were pretty, the girls about the Weyr, and most were equal to him in inteligence, cleverness, and knack.

But no-one was Raiin.

Some of those girls could sing well too- but that wasn't enough to make him interested in them. Raiin had been more than that. More than a beautiful voice, or talent, or even her looks. She was kind and fair, her mind was even more beautiful, and she took his... habits... in stride, loving him regardless of his disability.

M'kal looked up at Rinath momentarily, using Guider's sight to look at his dragon. Before he loked down, the Dusk dragon could see that long tracks of glinting tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I... What should I do, Rinath?" Rinath knew just by hearing his Rider's words that the man was in emotional pain, given that M'kal normall called the Dusk Rin' or Rinrin, or sometihng similarly unbeffiting a Dragon.

Rinath wished his M'kal would go back to normal. Rinath had never felt loss. He did not fully understand it in theory, but felt the emotions sliding into his mind through their bond.

It made him want to curl up and moan aloud.

We need to do something. Take your mind off the loss for a little while. Do not forget her, but do not harm yourself- and me- by reliving everything. You may have been in that room but you could do nothing whne Raiin was determined to save that man. Rinath said, offering sound, gentle advice.

M'kal choked on a sob, but nodded, reaching up and wiping his eyes of the tears. He walked slowly into his bathroom and splashed his face with look-warm water, brushed his hair a little, and came bakc in the room.

"I need to find someone to talk to- someone who will just be supportive- like you, but human. " He voiced his thought out loud.
Rinath nodded his head.

S'ven... maybe. Lanrie... No, she won't get it, i've been too teasingly mean to her... Torri... to young to burden with my thoughts.... David... Same thing..... Raelyn... she can't spare the time.... I'm not sure who. It'd be helpful if someone would walk by the door right now. I know alot of people, but I can't call to mind anyone like you. He pointed out after musing.

Rinath rumbled appraisingly.

((okay, this is going to be a mroe solemn thread, but i want someone woh is supportive but not going ot laugh it away, who wont be too gruf, but wont be overly sympathetic, for m'kal to talk to a little while. Anyone, if you want to post, just do so ))

[kyra]

A small feline walked into the rider’s dorm obviously just taking in the surroundings. The green gaze fell upon a curious site of a male and his dragon as well as a firelizard. She tilted her head while studying them both before moving and rubbing herself up against the legs of the rider.

”Mina….Mina?” A soft voice called obviously looking for something. ’Where is that darn feline gone off to now.’ Tia thought as she wandered through looking completely lost. It was her first day at the Weyr and here she was trying to find her pet.

She paused slightly at a doorway and couldn’t help but peer inside her gaze went straight to Mina who was trying to get attention from the rider. ”Mina…Oh my I’m so sorry. We’re new here and she must have just decided to go explore. If she’s been a bother I am sorry.” Tia couldn’t help but apologize as she walked slowly into the room. Her hair was down in loose curls as she was wearing her rank as a Harper.

Mina looked upon her bonded before sitting down obviously not wanted to leave just yet. The feline could tell something was wrong with the rider and besides she wanted some attention and really wished for a bath as well. Yet she knew her bonded would of course give her a bath once they were back in their quarters.

[Raelyn]

M'kal was startled when he felt a small furred body rub itself against his legs. He used Rinath's sight nad saw a small feline there. Whaa?

Maybe you should pet her, Mine?
Yes, yes... M'kal muttered, bending over and runnign a hand down the feline's back, the fur silky soft against his hand. He felt Rinath's attention shift to the doorway right before he heard a femenine voice speak.

"Oh, uhm.." Wow, his voice sounded so rough... exactly like he'd bee nsobbing for hours. Well, he had. M'kal ran a hand over the feline once more before straightening up and trying to get a look at the owner of the voice through Rinath's vision.

"Ah, that's alright, really. She was a welcome distraction." Then he saw through Rinath's eyes that the woman was wearing blue - Harper Blue! His breath caught in his chest and he forced himself to stay calm. He took a deep, steadying breath and turned away from her. But M'kal couldn't help but wonder about this harper woman. He coughed, trying to disguise the roughness of his voice.

"I'm M'kal, this is Rinath, and Guider. I'm guessing you're a harper, though Rinath sees colors differently than I would." He paused. "So, you're new here?" M'kal decided and then turned and walked slowly towards her. She was pretty... His mind shuddered and he took another steadying breath.

[kyra]

Mina purred as she was petted oh how she loved attention. After all she felt it was a humans duty to pay attention to her and only her of course.

Tia’s head tilted as she couldn’t help but notice how rough his voice had sounded. Had this rider been crying? She smiled slightly as he called Mina a welcomed distraction. ”She’s just exploring things…and finding out which people she can sucker into giving her attention.” She laughed slightly.

Her eyebrow raised slightly as he mentioned Rinath sees colors differently then he would. She then noticed for the first time that he was in fact blind. Amazing…he could see through his bonded ones. ”Yes, I am new. My name is Tia the new Harper here and the feline down there is Mina whom I feel chose me more then I chose her.” She added with a smile even if she was unsure if he could see or not.

Her eyes flickered to his bonded ones, Rinath and Guider. She was never one for firelizards but found them useful and pretty. Rinath was defiantly a sight to see. She of course had seen dragons and had arrived here on dragon back, but still to her dragons were just amazing. ”I am so sorry for really just barging in here….” She added softly not sure really of what to say.

[Raelyn]

The new Harper? So... they'd already found a replacement for Raiin. He caught his breath on a sob, and turned away from the harper woman. Away from Tia.

"Nice to... meet you." He managed to say. silent tears fell down his face but he hoped he'd turned away fast enough so Tia wouldn't see them. He couldn't be sure, though. He sighed.

"No, it's alright. You're not interrupting anything important, anyway." Well, other than saving his sanity, maybe.
I agree mine.
Shut up Rin'
Nice to meet you Weyrharper Tia. Rinath said, letting Tia hear his words, and Rinath showed M'kal as he lowered his dusky-grey head ot the young woman.

M'kal wiped the tears away and then turned back to Tia, before walking steadily towards her as if he could see her perfectly.

[kyra]

Tia couldn’t seem to understand why he kept turning away from her. She knew something was wrong. Her eyes flickered to her feline and realized perhaps that was why Mina was here other then getting attention. Mina was good at finding people who were hurting inside. Some days she wondered if she went into the wrong sort of field, but she loved singing.

Her eyes flickered from the back of M’kal’s head until Rinath spoke to her. Her eyes flickered back to the dragon slightly shocked. She would have much to learn about Dragons. She smiled, ”It’s wonderful to meet you, Rinath.”

Her eyes glanced back to M’kal, ”Normally my better judgement would be telling me not to ask, yet I cannot help myself. Your eyes clearly state you have been crying, your voice even suggests the same…” Her eyes flickered back to Rinath as if wondering which one would spill the beans first.

[Raelyn]

M'kal sighed and walked over to Tia, *looking* down at her slightly.
"Look... I'm sorry about being so..." He wasn't sure what to say, and then shook his head. "You know what, you're right. I was crying." M'kal tried to keep it cool, keep his tone even. Instead his voice sounded almost.. dull.

"Were you told about.. about R - Weyrharper Raiin?" He asked, wincing at her name.

His weyrmate. Rinath added helpfully, but solemnly, touching M'kal softly on his shoulder.

[kyra]

Tia felt short slightly with someone that was blind he did have gorgeous eyes. She looked away slightly and her eyes flickered back when she was asked about Weyrharper Raiin. Her face saddened slightly, she didn’t know the woman very well but she had met her a few times.

”Not much..just that she passed.” Sadness filled her eyes but she did not look at M’kal. She bent down and picked up Mina who was at her feet. ”I heard she impressed a dragon as well….” She added out of the blue while holding her feline close and petting it.

Mina’s green eyes settled on M’kal.

[Raelyn]

M'kal was relieved when Tia didn't say Raiin's name, and he nodded, evenly.

This isn't as hard as it could be
I told you - you just have to talk to someone. Rinath said privately. M'kal mentally hugged Rin.

"Yes, she ah -" He struggled, "- She was killed at the snows festival." He blinked at the comment about Raiin's dragon. "Well, yes, actually. She was a candidate when I was and we impressed at Judurith's first clutch's hatching. She impressed Sapphire Valureth, who has a clutch on the sands." He almost smiled.

"Funniest thing - Rinath's not Val's mate, but I was Raiin's. Dearyth is Rin's mate, and Hanrak is - well, I'm not sure about him exactly. It was a bit crazy, to tell you the truth." He wasn't sure why he was saying this, but Tia was pretty easy to talk to. The words jsut kind of - flowed.

He cleared his throat and took one step back before reaching a hand to pet Mina, in Tia's arms.

[kyra]

Tia tilted her head as she listened her heart went out to Sapphire Valureth who was missing her life mate for sure. Tia had heard what happens to dragons when their lifemates passed on so she knew what would happen to the Sapphire once all her children had hatched. She frowned slightly at the thought.

Tilting her head she just listened to the rider as he began to ramble on. She smiled hoping just by him talking he would be okay. "That sounds confusing, yet interesting all at the same time." She added with a slightly laugh.

She stiffened slightly as he reached a hand out but relaxed as she realized it was only to pet Mina. Mina purred in Tia's arms obviously happy with all the attention with was receiving. 'Mina is a huge attention hog.' She thought ten looked down. "Things will get better in time." She said since she wasn't sure exactly what to say.

[Raelyn]

M'kal sighed and nearly msiled. "It definately was. Both things, in fact." Then he paused at her next words. How did she know exactly the right thing to say?! He then actually smiled. She was helping him already. "I think they've already started..." He reached up and pushed his hair back, out of habit. He'd let it grow a little more and while he couldn't see, it did irritate him when it fell in his face.

"Thanks, Tia." He added, softly. She'd already made him feel.. if not oka,y at least that he wasn't going to fall apart any time soon. He paused in petting Mina and thne borrowed Rinath's sight for a moment, to look at Tia.

She is pretty, Mine... Rinath said, privately, then he crooned out loud. Thank you Weyrharper; you have helped him as I cannot. The dusk then added to Tia.

[kyra]

Her eyes flickered to him as he smiled which made her smile. She had no idea how much he hurt inside but atleast he smiled so perhaps things will get better in time. ”It’s really no problem. You should think Mina here.” Really Tia felt uncomfortable for even being thanked.

Tia looked at the Dusk and smiled. The dragon sure was beautiful that was for sure. Her green eyes flickered back to M’kal. ”I probably should go now. Give you some time, besides Mina here needs her daily bath before she gets to upset with me.” Her eyes went back to the Dusk as she smiled at the dragon, ”And Rinath, I am sure you can help him much more then I can. You’re his lifemate, so no doubting yourself.” She added with a smirk.

[Raelyn]

Wait! What? He wasn't sure he wanted her to go! He shook himself mentally.She probably wouldn't want him to cling to her. He wasn't sure he wanted to cling to anyone, anyway. But...

He forced a smile onto his face.
"Ah, in that cas,e I thank you , dear Mina! For leading your wonderful Tia here to me." He said theatrically, ruffling the cat's fur before stepping away from Tia. But he watched her with Rinath's sight.
Ask her to lunch some time.
What?
You heard me. He paused. And, Weyrharper Tia, While I know his mind, I am not human and cannot give him human advice on matters of this kind.

M'kal blinked and took a deep breath before reachign out a hand and touching her sohulder.

"Ah, I understand you've got to give miss kitty here a bath today, but coudl we, er - " He pause,d nervous suddenly. "- could we catch lunch together sometime?"

[kyra]

Tia smiled as Mina purred a few more times. The feline was more happy about the thought of a bath then anything. She didn't really think she was wonderful, but who knew really. She nodded to the dragon and understood slightly on what he meant.

"I would love to sometime." She smiled then turned to leave. Mina looked over Tia's shoulder at M'kal before settling back into her bonded's arms. Tia was slightly shocked her asked her to lunch, perhaps it was just cause he liked to talk with her which didn't bother her much.

She looked over her shoulder before leaving, "Have a nice rest of your day." She smiled once more before heading to her own room.